Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
