Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm really busy with my period
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