Betty ford says i'm here all night
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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