You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if only i could text you this smell
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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