Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
They have beer where we have blood.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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