He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
