think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Boobs speak an international language.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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