O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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