he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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