The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
