Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Randomize
