11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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