i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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