ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
