i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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