i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize