dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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