Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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