Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
