Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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