but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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