I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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