You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
