I'm really into asian looking animals
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
