Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
