If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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