You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
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Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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