How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
