apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm both gender and math confused
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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