meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
