do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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