Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
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Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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