I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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