Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Walk of Shame today included voting.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
