Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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