Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize