You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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