also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
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He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.