Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger