I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on