Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
