You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Did I show you my penis last night?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
