Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
