i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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