She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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