toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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