Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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