College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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