He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize