im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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