just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
