Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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