Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
