There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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