so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
