I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
