so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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