are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Pappa wants mamma naked
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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